A
Child
"Train up a child in the way he should go......"
Proverbs 22:6
Sometimes while in prayer I have to imagine myself
floating in space about three hundred thousand miles
from Earth before I can set my feet firmly in this
world. There, as I look at the sun, moon, earth and
stars, I realize the insignificance of myself in comparison
to God, the Creator of these things. I am reminded
that because of His mercy, I have finally found the
reason for my existence and for the existence of all
things. I reiterate my thankfulness to Him for opening
my spiritual eyes to the Light of the world, Jesus
Christ. And I thank Him that my Mom introduced me
to Jesus when I was a child and then prayed for me
those nineteen years I went astray.
I was brought up in a middle-class home in Albuquerque,
New Mexico. I began attending Alameda Community Church
when I was seven years old. I thank God for that little
church, because I received enough training in the
Bible to realize later in life that I could turn to
Jesus for help when I was in deep trouble....even
saving me from the clutches of Satan!
That is why I know it is essential that children
be taught the good and right way: God's Way.
I don't believe that as a child I ever made a real
commitment to Jesus, although I attended church regularly
and belonged to an organization called "Sky Pilots
of America." We memorized Bible verses, built
model airplanes and in 1954, I was named top "Sky
Pilot" in the U.S. at a national camp meeting
in California.
Obviously, my knowledge of Christ was in my head
and not in my heart as evidenced by the three times
I was "saved" once at a Billy Graham Crusade.
And then, holding to a form of Godliness, but denying
the power thereof, I dropped out of church & "Sky
Pilots" and turning my back on Jesus at the tender age
of 14. Many times I've wished that I could go back
and start over. If I would have continued to seek
the Lord, I would have saved myself so much grief.
But as the Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 3:13,
"Forget those things which are behind and reach
forth to those things which are before."
I've prayed about this period of my life and the
Lord has revealed to me some reasons for my turning
from Him to a worldly way of life. I wasn't taught
that Jesus is a Person with whom one can have a personal
relationship. I wasn't told about His great loving kindness
towards us who believe. Mostly I heard about the Hellfire-brimstone-repent-or-die
aspect of Christianity. There has to be a balance because
the Bible has a balance! I'm taking much of the blame,
however, and this is revealed in James 1:13-15: "Let
no one say when he is tempted, 'I am tempted by God, for God cannot
be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one
is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by
his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives
birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings
forth death."
A Child On The Run
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child......"
1. Corinthians 13:11
Rejecting my Christian upbringing and accepting sin
as a normal way of life was not an instantaneous occurrence.
On the contrary, the process went on for nineteen
years, gradually growing worse. At first, in junior
high and high school, I began to use bad language,
tell dirty jokes and smoke cigarettes now and then.
I read my Bible less and prayed less and less until,
as a senior in high school, I began to drink liquor
and take out the 'easy' girls. At the time, all this
seemed innocent enough, although in retrospect, I
can see that I was developing deep guilt feelings
because I was hurting God, other people and me.
Pride became a very important part of my life. I played
football two years for Valley High School and was
named to the New Mexico All State team in 1960, playing
in the all-star game as well.
I got a 'swelled head' and began to get into fights.
Several friends and I would drive across the
Rio Grande River to a little town called Corrales
and they would sell us wine illegally. I did some
pretty wild things, like being involved in gang fights,
wrecking my Dad's car and spending some time in jail.
My life was beginning to follow a pattern of drunkenness,
fighting and frustration. The influence of the
Prince of Darkness was gaining more and more control!
College involved more of the same. I was still playing
football and had a scholarship to S.S.C. in Durant,
Oklahoma. Drinking and partying slowed me down and
I became a worse player in college than I was in high
school. By this time, God was the last thing on my
mind and the only time I spoke of Him was in vain.
A new period of my life started when I took up guitar.
I joined a musical group and we called ourselves "The
Mutineers." We played a few months around campus,
and in May of 1964, we went to Dallas, Texas, ninety-six
miles south of Durant. There I lost all inhibitions
and began to party every night in the nightclubs in
which we were performing. This went on for two years,
and then in 1966 we recorded our first hit record,
"I See the Light" using the name, "The
Five Americans". Overnight, we became one of
the most popular groups in the country, and followed
this record with another smash hit, "Western
Union." The next three years were spent playing
concerts and recording albums, but mostly getting
drunk, high on marijuana, mescaline, L.S.D. and speed.
I was beginning to pay for this way of life when, in
1967 I had to have eighty per cent of my stomach
removed because of ulcers aggravated by liquor.
However, still trying to fill the God shaped hole
in my soul, I was back drinking and using drugs within
three months of the operation. "The Five Americans"
grew more popular, recording five Billboard Top 40
Hits, three albums, making appearances on such T.V.
shows as Dick Clark's American Bandstand and live
shows with groups like The Beach Boys .... Sonny and
Cher ... and the Dave Clark Five. Even with the money
and fame, I remained unhappy and began to use more
drugs. Marijuana and L.S.D. changed my personality.
I became dead inside and began to look at people as
just objects, no more important to me than animals.
Drugs are one of Satan's favorite means of ruining
a person's life. I wish to God I had never touched
them! After a bad L.S.D. trip in late 1968, I left
the group and migrated to California. All I had left
from fame and fortune was a Lotus Europa sports car,
and $60.00.
I stayed in Los Angeles for 1-1/2 years, trying to
make it as a songwriter. I worked as a doorman in
a nightclub. The nightclub life is Satan's citadel.
I carried a blackjack for protection as many times
my life was threatened. This led to my arrest for
carrying a blackjack (a felony). Then after being arrested
and thrown into the Hollywood jail, I decided to leave
L.A. for good and I moved to Carmel, California.
By this time, desperation had set in and I decided
that the answer to my problems was marriage. That
lasted one year and nine months, ending in divorce
and I underwent eight months of Gestalt psychotherapy
just to keep from committing suicide. Psychiatric
analysis revealed many of my problems but failed to
solve them!
In March of 1973, I went on tour with Holiday and
Ramada Inns, playing guitar and singing in nightclubs.
Performing mainly in the Midwest, I traveled most
of the next two years with periodic visits to Ventura.
During those lonely times on the road by myself, I
always came back to the same questions: Why do I exist?
Why does the Universe exist? Is there a God? In my
search I even delved into yoga, meditation and astrology.
I continued to drink and use drugs and knew that I
was hooked on them.
Then, in January of 1975, my whole life was changed
dramatically.
Like A Child
" and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
" Proverbs 22:6
In late 1974, two girls had witnessed to me about
Jesus and one had given me a New Testament which I
took to my room, but didn't bother to read.
Jesus Christ was the farthest person from my mind
as I set out that January night in 1975 in Ventura.
In fact, the only thing on my mind was getting drunk,
more stoned on marijuana and some female companionship.
It's sad to say, but that's the only way I knew to
kill the pain in my heart and to forget the loneliness
of my room.
I picked up a girl in a little beer joint and took
her out partying. We passed out on someone's kitchen
floor, but finally made it to my place where she stayed
for two days.
She told me she was into witchcraft but that didn't
bother me, as long as I got what I wanted. One night
as we were going to sleep, her neck twisted into a
very grotesque position, at a right angle with her
body, and I asked her what was wrong.
She said, "He is trying to get me!" She
seemed to be oddly excited and yet very frightened
about it. I laughed at her.
Two days later, on a Monday, I took her to Los Angeles
and stayed with her for a few hours in a room she
shared for a year with a guy who was a Satan Worshipper.
A statue of a half-man, half-beast creature with two
horns and playing a flute leered at us from the dresser.
As was my custom, I satisfied my lust and then left,
not really caring if I ever saw her again.
Back in Ventura that night, I went to bed completely
sober, reasonably happy since I had 'scored.' My happiness
ended at around 4:00 A.M.. when I awakened in my pitch
black room with a horrible, incessant crawling up
and down my body. The room seemed to groan and move
and there were vulgar noises like smacking lips emanating
from the corners of the room. Right here, I must tell
you that to my unspeakable horror, when I awoke to
this strange atmosphere, my neck was grotesquely twisted
in the same manner as this girl's who worshipped Satan!
Even though the heater was on, the room felt like
a deep freeze. I could sense a terrible and evil presence
all around me and the air seemed to drip with cold
slime. My fright was beyond comprehension and I felt
a tremendously deep despair, as I knew that nothing
in this world would be able to help me in this situation.
The hours dragged by, and I pressed clinging against
the wall with the light on. I never felt so all alone
in my life. To really describe this experience is
impossible because it was infinitely worse than any
nightmare. The thing left at daybreak.
Many thoughts crossed my dazed mind that day, such
as calling my parents or a psychiatrist for help,
but I knew deep down that I was dealing with something
not of this physical world.
Reluctantly, I went to see a man for whom I praise
God: Pastor Bill Severn at People's Church in Ventura.
I told him I disliked Christianity, but that I needed
help. He told me it was Satan. I told him I didn't
believe him and left. I decided to pretend it never
happened.
That night I smoked a couple of marijuana cigarettes
and went to a movie, then came home and exercised
until I was exhausted, hoping I could sleep through
the night. But the demon returned and woke me up at
around 4:00 A.M. and this time the symptoms were
much worse! I was out of my mind with fear.
I don't remember much about the next two days, but
on the fourth night I felt that I should take my own
life. I ran out to the house and around the block,
but became more frightened out there.
Back in bed, I had two visions:
A tall man in a long, dirty white robe whose face
was rectangular in shape with his eyes set at odd
angles to each other, stood there just looking at
me. Let me tell you about his eyes. One eye was lower
positioned on his face than the other. They looked
at me with incarnate lust. He had a very psychotic
grin on his face.
The other vision I saw was a thin, feminine hand
that was so pale, it looked as though it had never
been in the sunlight. It had long, maroon, pointed
fingernails. Something said to me, "This is the
hand of Satan."
A deep, insistent thumping noise at the bottom of
my bed brought me out of that vision. I turned on
my back, and went completely rigid. My body bowed
up from the bed and my weight rested on the back of
my head and my heels, as I sensed that the demons
were coming into me!
I cried to God for help, but got no relief. Then
I asked Jesus to help me and the demons immediately
left! I relaxed for the first time in four days and
nights. I was reluctant to call on Jesus; now I know
why. I didn't want to face up to my sinful and evil
ways of life and Jesus is the only One who deals with
sin in a person's life. Pastor Bill Severn was right,
and what he said stuck with me, stubborn as I was.
Calling on Jesus was only a measure of desperation,
however, and I hadn't really given Him my life. I
left town for three days and really thought about
all that had happened. I was still frightened, but
not as much. Returning home on a Monday night, one
week after all this began, I read the New Testament
for six hours, from 4:00 P.M.. to 10:00 P.M..
All of a sudden, the evil presence was back
but I was ready for it, because I had read of Jesus'
temptations by Satan in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11).
My spiritual eyes were enlightened and I suddenly
saw my past life flash before me. I saw how my own
lusts, along with Satan's deceit, had ruled my life.
With tears running down my face, I screamed at Satan
that I hated him for what he had done to my wretched
life. I told him I was through with him and that I
was going to follow Jesus the rest of my life.
That was what the Lord was waiting for!
The evil presence was again immediately gone and
then the most marvelous experience of my life occurred.
A sweet, floral fragrance came out of nowhere filling
my whole being and the room. This too was not of this
physical world. I felt a profound peace within my
heart that was so beautiful! I sat there for a long
time and just breathed in the Holy Spirit and I didn't
even know it was the Holy Spirit! He was that fragrance,
and it was like a gigantic burden lifted off me and
I knew without a doubt, just as I do now, that Jesus
is God! This is what the Holy Spirit was revealing
to me.
A few minutes later, my wonderful reverie was interrupted
by the sound of two demons howling outside my window.
The howling was very high pitched and eerie sounding
and there was a distinct pattern as one would howl
and then the other. This continued for a few minutes
until the last howl ended in a low, guttural, choking
noise. I didn't dare look outside, but I could hear
a very real note of sadness in the sound. I know now
that this is because the devil really hated to lose
me. I had been one of his best disciples and didn't
even know it. There's no telling how many people I
influenced to follow the devil during all those years.
The next few days were really astounding for me.
The whole world looked new and I threw away the drugs
and quit smoking and cursing. I felt real, solid peace
and hope and I began to turn away from sin as the
Holy Spirit directed me. As He took over my life and
restored the real joy of living, many people noticed
and were amazed in my change of behavior. So was I!
Truly, I had become the embodiment of Matthew 18:3:
Jesus said, "Verily, verily I say unto you, Except
ye be converted, and become as little children, ye
shall not enter into the Kingdom of heaven."
Man Child
" .....but when I became a man, I put away childish
things." 1 Corinthians 13:11
I began to devour the New Testament and I read it
about ten times during the next few months as well
as reading the Old Testament once. I also began to
memorize verses. (Psalm 119:11) My faith that the
Bible is the infallible Word of God became stronger
each day because the eyes of my understanding were
being enlightened. (Ephesians 1:18)
I saw that God's wisdom and commandments as revealed
in the Bible are the very foundation of all creation,
and when we violate these commandments, we shake the
foundation upon which our very life depends. I also
realized that it is impossible for us to keep His
commandments and that is the reason Someone had to
keep them for us, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the sinless
one.
Sin is breaking God's commandments and disobeying
His Will as set forth in His Word, the Bible. The
result of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Jesus not only
lived a sinless life for us, but He also died for
our old sins and the new ones we commit everyday,
cleansing us with His own precious Blood shed on the
cross (I Peter 1:18, 19). Then God raised Jesus
from the dead! (Ephesians 1:20) And Jesus defeated
death, the last enemy, along with the devil, who had
the power of death. (I Corinthians 15:26; Hebrews
2:14, 15)
Jesus has done so many things for me since my conversion.
I have had four physical healings. He has healed my
mind and soul from the effects of bad childhood experiences,
fifteen years of pornography, alcoholism and drugs.
He has provided me a ministry of Gospel music, helping
drug addicts and other people in trouble to find the
final and only solution to their problems: getting
to know the Lord Jesus Christ!
I have many new friends who are real friends that
I can trust. Best of all, I am no longer afraid of
disease or death, because I know I have eternal life
waiting for me with Him (John 5:24). What more could
anyone ask for???
In conclusion, I want to say something very important
to you, young people. Don't make the mistake I did.
I was very fortunate to have Godly people praying
for me. Many young people meet death and the throes
of Satan's forces alone, because they have no one
to stand with them in prayer when Satan's forces surround.
Proof of this is the many tragedies we see everyday,
in the lives of those who are swallowed up of Satan because
they wandered into his territory without anyone praying
for them, or reaching out or caring.
Receive Jesus as your Saviour, study the Bible, pray,
witness and hang around with other good Christian
friends. You'll save yourself so much grief, such
as venereal disease, abortion, drug addiction, alcoholism,
mental illness and all other results of man's sin.
And even if you don't get entrapped in these things,
if you're still an unredeemed sinner, you'll never
get to Heaven in that condition. The only way is to
make Jesus Christ Lord of your life and turn from
sin. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth and
the Life and no one comes unto the Father except through
Me." (John 14:6)
The Bible says, "The thief cometh not but for
to steal, and to kill, and to destroy." (John
10:10) That thief is Satan and he wants to steal what
you have, kill you and everyone else he can, and destroy
all good from your life. Jesus said, "I am come
that they might have LIFE, AND THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE
IT MORE ABUNDANTLY!!! [John 10:10]
